I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
