i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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