I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
