I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
