Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
