my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize