Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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