Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
