i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
