Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize