i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
