high people should be assigned attendants
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
