Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
