think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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