I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
vagina is talking i cant
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
