i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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