Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
