Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
