he wants to bone in the snuggie
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize