Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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