Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
