Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
