ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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