I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
