I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
