who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
