You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
