we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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