Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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