he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize