the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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