I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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