Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
