I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
