Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
