the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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