we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
