God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
