I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
