yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
