At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
