its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize