so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
