five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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