True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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