I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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