adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
dude. I can hear the air.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
