My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize