i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
