I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
