i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
