So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
