Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
