I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize