i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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