he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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