just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
