You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I FOUND THE LEGS
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
