have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
FUCK WHALES
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
