In the future we'll all be gay
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
