I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
