shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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