I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
