I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize