i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
