Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
