Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
