But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
