I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
