I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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