Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
